Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Transformation Agenda you didn't know about


I can confirm that this government is working hard to change the bad impression people have of them in my neighbourhood. 

Unbelievable as it may sound, we now have light frequently. The only snag is that it lasts between 5 and 10 minutes. But, that cannot be an entirely bad thing. The situation is forcing us to live healthy as we get to exercise willy-nilly. 

Every 5 or 10 minutes, you have to stand up and take a walk or jog to the back of the house to put off the generator and walk or jog back. The very moment you sit down, the light is gone and you start the cycle all over again. 

For upper body exercise, you get to pull and push the change-over lever up and down all day long. Some of us now have the prospects of spotting the strong biceps of Inyanya without visiting a gym. 

That's the real Transformation!

Funny Governor Ayo

Ekiti State Governor, Ayo Fayose

The way Booda Ayo of Ekiti is spending money on Uncle Jona’s re-election campaign, you would think the state has a bottomless purse. Front page ads and Wrap-arounds in Tier 1 newspapers personally signed off by him nearly on a daily basis. To place one of those nor be moin moin, fa.

And then, you go inside the paper and find a story of Ekiti State University lecturers declaring strike because they were last paid any salary last year. 

Booda Ayo yi funny gan an ni!

Arik shocks Aviation minister

Arik gave Aviation Minister, Osita Chidoka, their famous bitter pill on March 9. Unaware he was on the flight, they rescheduled it at the 11th hour and messed up his appointments in Lagos.

What I find commendable in it all is the discipline to refrain from throwing his weight around to have his way like they all do.

One of the problems we have in Nigeria is that govt officials create a little heaven for themselves out of the hell that the rest of us have to endure. So the impetus to change things is not really there.

In rowdy departure halls with malfunctioning central ACs, they sit in cosy VIP lounges with split unit ACs. When others waste hours standing by an 'ogbanje' conveyor belt, they have their aides pick up their luggage directly from the aircraft.

When people sit in hellish traffic, their armed escorts blast a passage for them, flogging and pushing motorists off the road. When millions languish in poverty, they create bubbles of stupendous wealth around themselves and their families.

So, really, why would they want a change?